Hello, Kitty girls.
Another surprisingly early exit. Well, everyone this season pretty much seems to be a level playing field, so every exit seems shocking in a way. I would have expected Mayhem to go further based on her first episode, but she basically vanished after that so, yeah.
The queens discuss Cracker’s inability to win yet again, and it must be very frustrating to Cracker being the Susan Lucci of the season. But she hasn’t lost on any deserved wins, so she can’t really be that pressed. Hopefully she won’t get too much in her head. For the mini challenge, the girls get to identify stuff blind-folded by sitting on them. Yeah, these mini challenges sure don’t make no sense but entertain a lot. The queens have to sit on porkchops, cakes and traffic-cones, so you know, just a Tuesday. The maxi-challenge this week is to become groups of three and form Drag Con Panels, which is one of the more beneficial challenges for these girls, as they most certainly will have the chance to try it out in real life if they play their cards right.
The challenge would also test their personalities, humour, communication skills and ability to be personable to an audience, which are basic skills for any drag queen. The girls pick their own teams and panels, but there’s not much drama based on that.
During preparations, Kameron discusses how she became a muscle-queen. It’s a sobering conversation on the dynamics of gay-relationships, drag and body-image in general. It’s even better to see Kameron finally getting some well-deserved screentime after basically being shown only for the challenges and (good) runways. The best part, though, is obviously Asia ogling at Kameron’s near-naked photograph. Monet also speaks about how her family came to know about his drag alter-ego after he won a pageant and the only newspaper in Saint Lucia printed it. That’s gotta be a harrowing conversation… “Hey aunties, I suck dick. Also, I’m a suspiciously large woman most nights in clubs acting out the songs by real singers”.
In the actual talent, none of the teams truly drop dungbombs, but we do have a clear stratification amongst the three in the Tops, Bottoms and Safes. The theme for the runway is Hat’s Incredible.
The Mehs
Asia: Asia is cruising at this point. She’s naturally charming, and her humour comes out well in this challenge. If it weren’t for the wobbly demonstration segment where the group ought to have spent more time of making up the model, they could have actually gone for the win. But that runway ws sublime. The dress itself was nothing special, but by god that IKEA lamp head piece and the way it was presented was pure drag magic.
Performance: 8 Runway: 9
Aquaria: Aquaria shows that she might not be the best at communicating, but she doesn’t botch her segment. Granted, she’s not the funniest, and she can be stiff, but it’s nothing terrible. She comfortably sails through, and then stuns with that absolutely stunning runway presentation. Everything about it is what I love about minimalist drag, and I can’t get enough of it.
Performance: 7 Runway: 9.4
Monique: Monique’s charming personality sweeps the room the moment she steps out. She probably could have won the challenge if she were in the winning team, but the team itself fell slightly apart in the demonstration when too many things started happening at once. Also her runway is sometimes off because she is resourceful bitch who sews most of everything she presents on stage during the show itself. The dress was cute, but clearly unfinished and the slit was way too high.
Performance: 8.9 Runway: 7
The Yes Gawds
Kameron Michaels: Kameron yet again surprises by being charming and personable in the panel of Team Body. The team come up with a catchphrase in the ridiculous and addictive “Proportinizing”. She’s succinct and smart with her portion, and gets the points about proportions ably. For the runway, she brings out a cute Lady Gaga-inspired Saturn-ring thingamajig with a super-her costume, and it’s totally on-brand.
Performance: 8.0 Runway: 8.1
Monet: Monet rose from the ashes with a strong performance this week. This should be cakewalk for a queen who hosts shows in NYC, and her charm and comedy push through and the audience welcome her with open arms. Monet finally walks down the runway in something I liked. The Carson Kressley-blazer turned into a Sunday at the church costume is totally fabulous.
Performance: 8.3 Runway: 8.7
Eureka: One can say Eureka had an unfair advantage of having been to Drag Con, but she read stories to kids. Her experience and wit easily shine through yet again, and she’s totally in command without being bossy as the moderator. An excellent job across the panel. The runway further solidifies her as a threat. That’s some exquisite shit. I. Eat. It. UP.
Performance: 9 Runway: 9.5
The No Ma’ams
Blair: Team Hair tanked because they didn’t have a moderator and they wandered off onto the jungles. Because these three have been tops together before, they decide that their charisma will carry them through the challenge (that worked so well for Nina and Tina). It results in a pointless panel that is more girls trying to be shady rather than a true informational and educational panel. It turns into what Trinity and Peppermint did for the News-show challenge, with unfunny and forced reads that don’t always land and end up alienating the audience. They also fail to tell the audience one thing about hair that’s beneficial, so basically they fail across the board. Blair was personable, but with two kitties swiping at each other on both sides of her, she gets drowned out. As for the runway, it’s cute and beautiful, but nothing inspired.
Performance: 7 Runway: 7.3
The Vixen: There was one joke. One. Then she might as well have had fisticuffs with Cracker and be done with it. I can’t. And then, on the runway, she completely botched an interesting take on the theme. A structured costume made out of hats could have worked, if only it was made better and had better proportions, and her boobs weren’t encroaching towards her tuck. 
Performance: 5 Runway: 5.7
Cracker: For a comedy queen, Cracker sure tanked in this challenge. The jokes just weren’t funny, and the characterization of catty bitches was more grating that ingratiating and humorous. There seems to be a rehearsed air to everything she says, even in the confessionals, so it’s like we’re seeing a performance at all times, but not ne we want to see. Unless she soon pulls out something hilarious out of the bag, I’ll lose complete interest. On the runway, she walks down in a beautiful gown and a hat made of hair. It’s something she’s already done, wearing stuff out of hair, and the hat itself is nothing special so YAWN.
Performance: 6.8 Runway: 6.7
During critiques, the judges commend Kameron for coming out of her shell, and the Ross erroneously claims that she needs to serve more diverse look. Ross, I’m gonna have to ask you to SHUT YO DAMN MOUTH. They tell Cracker she shoulda been funny. Yeah, true dat. Then Ross says that Blair is too sweet, and the girl drops a bombshell. Her reason to cover everything up with sweetness and rainbows is because her first sexual experience was being raped at a college party. Sexual molestations are no surprise to queer people, and men aren’t often heard when they speak up abut rape. I have so many friends who have had been taken advantage of in their lives, by strangers and relatives, it’s ridiculous that nobody talks openly about such things.
It’s incredibly brave of Blair to bring it up on such an international platform. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, trying to hide everything with bows and whistles, but it takes time, but we have to move forward and heal. Drag can help with that.
In the end, Eureka wins the challenge, being the first this season to win 2 challenges, and that too back-to-back, and it’s well-earned. And in the bottom we have Blair (oh no) and The Vixen (oh yeah).
They lipsync to “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross. As soon as the song starts, I know Blair is not going to win, because there’s no way a white girl is going to beat a black girl in a song like this. And even though both give equally athletic lipsyncs with a few unnecessary tricks from Vixen (what even was that sax bit, ew), Blair is asked to sashay away. She was a bright little star, and she will be missed. Sob.
Scribbles of Arjun 